Thursday, October 19, 2017

(RISUS - IOU) The Culligan, Man of Mystery

Another day, another billion dollars from student loans at Illuminati University.

Rayne Firewyrk, Bottled Water Hating Fire Samurai, spotted the Culligan man pushing a hand truck across campus. Knowing the horrible things that could be in the bottled water ("You don't know what's in bottled water? THAT'S THE PROBLEM!), he tried to sneak across the Pent, with a tiny bush, cartoon-style.
Yes, this is a real thing... check out Youtube.

Keith Stone sees him poorly trying to sneak across the wide-open Pent and intervened with a Keystone Light. Easily comprehending that bottled water was much more dangerous than beer, he joined the investigation. Looking for muscle to help them take down such a threat, they recruited Pepe the King Prawn and Huggy Bear, a 6'6" black mother *shut your mouth* Care Bear.  
Huggy Bear, sans his leather trench, black turtleneck, and cool hat

The Culligan went through a service entrance of cafeteria and Rayne almost made it through the closing door before suffering an asthma attack. Using his video game connections, his gamer buddy MONGO, let them in, so long as they had some sweet potato pie and come back to hang for a bit. 

"Mongo psyche filled filled with black swirling darkness."

Once they posted the discussion on Mongo's ennui, they caught a glimpse of the The Culligan dragging his hand truck down a flight of stairs. 

They finally caught up to The Culligan, who was taking his five gallon water jugs and installing them directly into the campus water supply!

Pepe attempted to dislodged the water jug and succeeded, only to have a low-lying fog seep out of the connection, knocking him out.  Huggy Bear lifted him out and Keith Stone tried to revive him with yet another Keystone Light.... in the Beer Cozy of Satan. 

Pepe woke up, mysteriously wearing thick glasses, his turtleneck and chain replaced with suspenders, his Latino accent replaced with a rare Chicago twang.

"Did I do that????" 

Pepe Urquel wanted vengeance and chased after The Culligan.  He managed to circle around him, and catch off guard, but failed to do anything.  Huggy Bear stared down The Culligan, but The Culligan whipped out a '50s style ray gun and knocked him out AND disarmed Rayne's katana.  The Culligan threw his last 5-gallon jug at a unsuspecting Pepe Urquel.  Keith Stone slid into the jug's path.  The jug hit him with a resounding thud, and Stone's body still slammed into the king prawn.  Gathering their senses, Keith's pride was the only thing wounded, and Pepe was back to his Latin Lothario ways....   

Rayne recovered his katana and disarmed The Culligan, forcing him to flee.  Another chase through the pipe-strewn basement confirmed to Rayne that he really need to work on cardio.  The Culligan was ultimately trapped in a dark and dingy break room.   In one last act of desperation, he pulled down a vending machine, which cracked open, sending dozens of 16oz bottles of water everywhere.

When the others finally caught up to Rayne, they found the floor covered with water and sliced open bottles, the cover to an air vent lying against the wall, The Culligan gone. 
A friendly delivery man, or a secret warrior of a mysterious society?
When they finally get to the surface, The Culligan's truck was gone, but a license plate vanity frame was left in it's spot...  "H2O to GO..."

...but first it was time for sweet potato pie and friendship.

GM Note:  Another online D&D session was cancelled, this time our DM was available, but the main character who was central to the storyline had a family medical emergency.  

Time to whip out Risus.  

The entire session was based on the first question I asked Jeff (Rayne's player),  "What does Rayne see as he's chilling on the Pent?"  

"I see the Culligan man delivering water.  I need to exact vengeance."

Game. Set. Match.

I will say that I need to make/post a few more NPCs for IOU.  I'm running a bit low after relying on them for these last two games.  

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

(IOU) Huggy Bear

Huggy Bear - Righteous Care Bear with Attitude
"Damn Right" (4)  - Able to persuade most people using his coolness.  Where applicable, three ladies jump out of no where, and a funk riff plays and they "Damn Right..."
CareBear Stare (3)
"What it is, Mother F'er" (2) - Intense Observation
"What is in there?" (1) Can reach into his Afro and pull random items, not always what he intended

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Ballad of the Pigeon God #28: Meanwhile, Back at the Chateau...

12 HexDec 1070 - Hydincall, Kingdom of Crosedes
As the green mist surrounding Duane Alberhold's brothel finally dissipated, the entire building disappeared, leaving parts of the root cellar.  Talis Makolin, bard and lover extraordinaire, had just been chased out of the brothel by his irate barbarian travelling companion, Rolf Wolfsblood, but now he stood in the middle of the street with the party's new purchases in a wagon, and their new friend dim-witted ex-gladiator Brutus, leaning against it.

"Crud. Brutus wanna go up to Eding with me?  I guess there's plenty of room at the Chateau."

"Sure Dallis, let's go..."

With the bulk of the party missing, and many of Hydincall's wizards, alchemists, and magic shops looking for the pilfering Talis, consulting with Echelon, Carthon, Mohammad, and County Zabty sounded like the safest option.

20 HexDec 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Talis and Brutus finally brought the wagon up to the Chateau and immediately informed the other party members of the situation.  Assuming that their missing companions were fairly experienced adventurers, and there were no clues as to what happened, they assumed their friends were smart enough to find a way home.  Those at the Chateau decided it best to stay there, work on improving the estate, and help Eding when needed.

The simple village of Eding...
29 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The village and its surroundings were subject to days of horrible storms, plus a few tornadoes, flattening crops and causing  significant damage.  The citizenry were frightened, and many families began packing up and fleeing to Omsjik.

31 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Barrack, former owner of the Blue Wizard, and disgraced militia commander, spoke to Prince William about resuming his duties as community leader, as he had under Baron Athelstane.  Prince William outright refused and their vociferous debate on the village green was the talk of the town for day.

35 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Barrack had continued his campaign to help lead the rebuilding process in Eding, until one of his daughters discovered him dead in a privy behind the Inn, a dagger sunk into the center of his chest. The captain of Prince Williams' "baronial" guard, a chap named Rogard, launched an investigation. 

Echelon took up where Barrack left off and began to immediately petitioned Prince William to formally acknowledge the cleric as a leader of the village, to coordinate tending to the crops and keeping the peace.

Talis launched his own investigation into Barrack's death, but found little.

21 SepDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The weather over the past month had been most erratic, the day scorching hot, even for late summer, and the nightly storms extremely fierce, pounding the town.  The storms must have stretched up into the mountains, because cascading waters then swelled the river.  Many areas are flooded, including Lansluck, many halfling villages and Eding itself. Echelon dispatched the other residents of the Chateau to the village and the halfling towns (but not as far as Lansluck) to help as many people as possible.

Needless to say, many crops were failing at a critical time.

8 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
After the flood waters subsided, a plague, probably caused by the mosquito infestation, swept through the valley.  The only man with enough true healing powers to fight the sickness was Mohammad, and he was working night and day to combat the illness.  Still more people escaped Eding.  Words like "accursed" would come out of their mouths during their farewells.

14 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Echelon and Talis continued to seek audience with  Prince William about community leadership.  He had rejected every proposal presented to him, preferring to stay within the walls of Athelstane's old manor, surrounded by Athelstane's old guards.   Some of his old friends were coming to aid the village, and they were more powerful that the Chateau's roster.

22 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Echelon went up to the see Prince William yet again and found the townspeople revolting and surrounding the manor house.   Echelon ran back to the Chateau for reinforcements and Talis went to help William.

Talis tried not to harm the villagers too badly as he fought his way to the Prince.  Rogard was leading the revolt and the only factor keeping them from seizing them was that William's allies had just arrived they seemed better organized that Talis' group, but they had already lost two of their own to the peasants.

Talis used his magic and his blade valiantly to help save William.  The villagers torched the manor house as Talis escaped with the Prince and his surviving friends, Rurik Bloodblade, a viking warrior from Wyrmnal, Fiame, a cleric of Akana, and MacKay an aging Mymidion.

DM Notes:  Welcome back to the past in Crosedes, from the moment the brothel disappeared.  I had a few sessions with Talis and Echelon's players the week before finals and well before we started the Talislanta summer sessions.  The best part of all was that everyone kept their part of the story secret over the Summer, so when our heroes might get a chance to reunite, the updates will finally hit them like a ton of bricks.  

Prince William has been granted absolute power to control Athelstane's land around Eding by the King of Crosedes.  He might be a great paladin, but the idea of making decisions in a crisis affecting thousands absolutely petrifies him.  

William's friends, Rurik, Fiame, MacKay (and the recently deceased Billo and Travis) were the party that the Archbishop sent to recover the Bell of Chardastes after it appeared our heroes failed in their mission.  

Next #29  From Bad to Worse

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Magic: The Gathering - Arena of the Planeswalkers Board Game at Five Below.

Outside of helping Maja write an actual graphic novel using Rory's Story Cubes, it's been very light gaming-wise this weekend. 

With the kids off to an amusement parks Halloween festival with family, my wife and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary a day late, with childless lunch at TGI Fridays and an exciting hockey game between the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins and the Syracuse Crunch. 

Unfortunately, even in our relaxed state, we're so efficient getting out the door and eating that we had 90 minutes to burn before puck drop. 

Working on a rumor I got last week, I suggested the chain Five Below, which, if you don't have girls under 13 in your house, is effectively a store where everything is five dollars or less, and 80% of the merchandise drives young girls into madness.

No need for Shopkins, cute t-shirts, and forty horrible shades of nail polish, but my wife confirmed the rumors by pointing out this before I could find it:
This is Magic: The Gathering Arena of the Planeswalkers board game.    Over two years ago this was solicited through the hobby store channels , and I asked two questions:  How much was it, and how deep was this getting distributed, because the company was listed under Hasbro rather than WotC.

Two years later, it's on clearance at Five Below for five dollars, well under the $30.00+ retail price I've seen on FLGS shelves. 

To be honest, even before reading the rulebook, it's not a bad deal.  Thirty plastic figures (ten of them with a "speed paintjob" from China), some battleboards, some dice akin to BattleMasters, and a shiny black d20 equals an impulse buy that might be useful. 

For five bucks, I'm surprised I only bought one.   Sure, it's toy company quality sculpts that might be a smidge small for 30mm, but I can think of nowhere else where $15 would net you six hellhounds and a vatload elves, phoenixes, and various warlords and beasties. 

I'll even try it out to see if it plays okay...

It's no Kay-Bee Toys deal for Star Wars Figures and D&D modules from the early 90's, but I'll take it.

FYI:  No Five Below in your area, I did find it online at Target for a little over $17.  Still not a bad price....

Steelstacks Gamecon - Saturday, November 11, 2017

Live in the Lehigh Valley and can't make the hike up to Mepacon?  Don't fear, Steelstacks Gamecon will take place that Saturday, November 11, 2017 in Southside Bethlehem from 12-4pm.  

Although it is $8 admission and only four hours long, it appears the organizers are focusing on as many 20-30 minute games that they can get their hands (and there are a ton!).


Friday, October 13, 2017

300K For the Gnomies!

With the help of bots from Italy, the Ukraine, and Russia, plus the views of thousans of real people, Gaming with the Gnomies just hit 300,000 page views.

I already provided by plans for world domination this year a mere two weeks ago, so not much has transpired.  My crazy busy season at work and the kid's activities have kept me from the basement, but I have gotten some time beyond my two-hour online RPG sesion in the office to work on a slew of projects.

I did take a minute to go through the blog journal, just to make sure I still had all my plans were still in the queue.

  • Adventures in Gulluvia:  The relaunch of the old weekend group on an online platform is progressing slowly, but I think I have enough options for them, plus a few scenarios from some peculiar sources.
  • 5th Edition D&D: Oh what fun it is to play a mixture of Robin Hood and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  Falgor the Barbarian rocks!
  • My Little Pony:  Reviews of the Core Rulebook and Curse of the Statuettes are pending.  I have a little administrative work to do, but the multiple sessions at Mepacon are ready!  
  • Fall-In!:  Finally registered, room reserved
  • Pulp Alley:  It took a few days of digging through my junk mail, but I did find my Pulp Alley Lost World of Lemuria PDF that they sent directly to me.  Still planning on Season 3 of the Pulp Game to be back in "Egypt," but it's a fun campaign to run for future sessions.
  • Risus: Going through the Blogging Journal, I re-discovered the previously shelved "Planet Mirrorball."  With the cancellations of the 5e game, Risus - IOU will make a comeback after attacking the water plant.
  • PROJECT ZERO:  Super-secret project I can't discuss at all.  Only thing I'll mention has been missing my nightly writing goals of a 1,000 words a night.  Getting that corrected ASAP.
The furnace needs to be serviced, so I'll be downstairs shortly.... and revisit the painting bench.